Continuation of last week’s article.

Coach; Greg, last week I asked you to think about what your fear was, from the story you told me last week?

Greg; well yes, I have had some thoughts around that. Two things come to mind, one is that the man was going to take us away and push us off the building, or even hang us with the rope for not being allowed to be there. The other was, that I was upset that my friend left me, I was lost, and scared that someone would catch me and tell my parents.
Then if my father knew what I had done, he would have belted me and grounded me for being stupid.

Coach; well there is a couple of things there, and they do seem different. Is there any particular one you would like to look at first?

Greg; well probably the one about the man, pushing us off the building!

Coach; ok Greg tell me about that from a child’s perspective?

Greg; well, I would imagine that a child who here’s someone say, “ how would you boys like to fall from there” then turns around and sees a man with a rope standing there, would just panic!

Coach; yes, and that is exactly what you did! What about if we stop there, lets imagine you did not panic, just turned around and said to the man, “no thanks.”

Greg; well I suppose he would probably have asked us, what we were doing up here and were we allowed to be here?

Coach; yes and anything else?

Greg; my friend and I have spoken about this, we did come to the conclusion, that he was probably just a maintenance man for the building, because my friend does remember seeing him wearing a belt with tools on it. The other things would be looking at it now, is he would not have thrown us off the building, because if he did want to do that, he would have just grabbed one of us as we went past him. I suppose I watched too many scary movies. Yes maybe if I had not of panicked then I would not have got lost as well.

Coach; interesting Greg, do you think they could be linked?

Greg; yes they are, because if I had not taken off like I did, I would not have got lost. As well, I was scared that my father would tell me off. My father was not even there! Come to think of it now, the man would probably have taken our names, escorted us out of the building, given us a lecture, yet here we were, creating this whole scenario, based on what was not really true.

Coach; Greg, what do think as a child, you would believe about that situation you have just told me about?

Greg; that when you do things on the spur of the moment it is not safe.

Coach; yes anything else?

Greg; can not always trust your friends.

Coach; is there anything else?

Greg; I have just had a thought, this not really about a fear of heights, this is about me having to be in control of every situation I am in. When I come to think about things now, I do not like going outside my comfort zone, unless I have total control of the situation. I actually can remember when I had a friend, who had a plane and he took me up for a flight one day. When he was driving the plane I was very nervous and tense, yet when he asked me to take over the controls, I started to become calm and actually enjoyed the experience of flying in this plane. I was also a little nervous about flying this myself, yet I knew he was next to me just incase. Maybe, I need to allow myself to be in those situations a little more, and actually tell myself to enjoy the moment.

Coach; well Greg, that was an amazing awareness, would you be ok to implement this a little more in your life?

Greg; yes! I did say that I will allow myself this, and evaluate after the event, not before, or even, no evaluation at all just enjoy.

Coach; So Greg, in this moment, what is going on for you?

Greg I really feel quiet free and have a new sense of energy. Feeling strong and excited.

Coach; Awesome Greg maybe we can catch up in a month.

Once again, a lot of what we think is the problem, is not!! When we allow someone neutral, to discuss things with us, we then start to create clarity

Article written by
Jay Lincoln
Holistic Coach
E-Mail jay@freedomtochoose.org.nz

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